I'm laying in your front yard are you home
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
True strength comes from lack of pants
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
