I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
