Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
