How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
