so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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