He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
A+ Viking dick
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
