Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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