i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
