i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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