Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize