why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
