apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Randomize
