youre lurking in front of me
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I would ride that face into the sunset
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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