I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
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