How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
