During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
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I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
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I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
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