I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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