Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
