just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
