Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
