now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize