It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
