"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize