i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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