I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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