no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
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