Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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