i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Randomize
