I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
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