I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
