how hairy? two words: wookie tits
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
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