i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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