PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
