I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
FUCK WHALES
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Randomize
