goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
