Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(706): View more from Georgia

Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later

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(207): View more from Maine

I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.

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(612): View more from Minnesota

Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable

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(303): View more from Colorado

The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(919): View more from North Carolina

Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool

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(630): View more from Illinois

Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual

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(231): View more from Michigan

Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.

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(216): View more from Ohio

I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?

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(479): View more from Arkansas

You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.

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