Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.