Texts From Last Night

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  (404): View more from Georgia

  I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???

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  (404): I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone??? http://tfl.nu/6a5o
  Replies (30) Good night (955) Bad night (4599)
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  (240): View more from Maryland

  At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka

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  (240): At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka http://tfl.nu/5kll
  Replies (21) Good night (1036) Bad night (5451)
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  (650): View more from California

  we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA

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  (650): we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA http://tfl.nu/902z
  Replies (36) Good night (3017) Bad night (933)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.

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  (717): i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now. http://tfl.nu/sepd
  Replies (86) Good night (5184) Bad night (2157)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.

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  (609): So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife. http://tfl.nu/c5bq
  Replies (36) Good night (9806) Bad night (846)
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  (636): View more from Missouri

  there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter

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  (636): there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter http://tfl.nu/6rqt
  Replies (3) Good night (2446) Bad night (972)
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment

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  (256): Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment http://tfl.nu/eim1
  Replies (20) Good night (2870) Bad night (1244)
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.

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  (416): He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut. http://tfl.nu/vwy6
  Replies (8) Good night (5086) Bad night (820)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.

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  (815): Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience. http://tfl.nu/8crb
  Replies (8) Good night (2037) Bad night (609)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.

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  (617): Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now. http://tfl.nu/mmi9
  Replies (1) Good night (1343) Bad night (572)
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  (903): View more from Texas

  I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?

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  (903): I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical? http://tfl.nu/u7vi
  Replies (2) Good night (502) Bad night (531)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.

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  (330): i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame. http://tfl.nu/xq0z
  Replies (1) Good night (717) Bad night (286)
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  (418): View more from Quebec

  Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?

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  (418): Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me? http://tfl.nu/ltm0
  Replies (4) Good night (393) Bad night (533)
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.

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  (256): I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth. http://tfl.nu/vzie
  Replies (0) Good night (440) Bad night (227)
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  (520): View more from Arizona

  dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.

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  (520): dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first. http://tfl.nu/2u4z
  Replies (32) Good night (363) Bad night (1252)

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