you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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