Texts From Last Night

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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  Why are handjobs necessary in class?

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  (651): Why are handjobs necessary in class? http://tfl.nu/p9nw
  Replies (28) Good night (2381) Bad night (665)
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  (808): View more from Hawaii

  Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?

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  (808): Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes? http://tfl.nu/1azu
  Replies (2) Good night (690) Bad night (2557)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.

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  (540): Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work. http://tfl.nu/ghtv
  Replies (11) Good night (1006) Bad night (3999)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.

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  (615): I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know. http://tfl.nu/z1c6
  Replies (29) Good night (7926) Bad night (820)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.

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  (404): The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me. http://tfl.nu/retd
  Replies (42) Good night (5888) Bad night (1333)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom

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  (207): you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom http://tfl.nu/am8n
  Replies (11) Good night (5432) Bad night (824)
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  (863): View more from Florida

  Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.

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  (863): Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day. http://tfl.nu/qpfj
  Replies (5) Good night (2024) Bad night (931)
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  (320): View more from Minnesota

  don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING

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  (320): don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING http://tfl.nu/kogd
  Replies (7) Good night (3127) Bad night (647)
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  (510): View more from California

  I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear

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  (510): I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear http://tfl.nu/ry3a
  Replies (9) Good night (2187) Bad night (828)
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  (530): View more from California

  It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.

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  (530): It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle. http://tfl.nu/j4o3
  Replies (9) Good night (1992) Bad night (503)
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  (417): View more from Missouri

  Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.

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  (417): Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently. http://tfl.nu/jfkc
  Replies (11) Good night (2270) Bad night (543)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.

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  (540): I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day. http://tfl.nu/r0vt
  Replies (6) Good night (1087) Bad night (354)
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  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?

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  (262): Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush? http://tfl.nu/mk31
  Replies (13) Good night (545) Bad night (942)
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  (623): View more from Arizona

  It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.

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  (623): It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit. http://tfl.nu/h0fw
  Replies (4) Good night (242) Bad night (701)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.

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  (440): My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future. http://tfl.nu/caoj
  Replies (1) Good night (361) Bad night (412)

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