Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"