my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
