i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
