I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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