just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
