at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
The uberlube is also flammable
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
