I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I am spending my child support on dildos
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Randomize
