C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
