You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I can't put those talents on a resume
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
