i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
