I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Randomize
