Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Randomize
