tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
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