I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
