I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
