Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Just puked most of my soul out..
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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