Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
