She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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