Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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