I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I touched a dick in church today
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
