What a fucking waste of an outfit
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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