You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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