So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize