After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
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