I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Randomize
