Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
