I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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