Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
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Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
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