yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
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he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
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As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize