Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
