suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
