Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
