I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
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