At least make sure they are 18
Why
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
